my mom came home crying today. so...what did i do? i stayed quiet until dinner. when i finally asked her what happened...i cried too. she told me this story:

my mom and dad have been saving up money for my college/university tuition and supplies. the last time she checked the savings account, we had..let's just say a fair amount. my family planned on buying a house, and a used car for me for when i go to college/university. but somehow, when she checked today, we lost 10k worth of money. how can we lose 10k in 5 months?! my mom told me that...my dad used it. and on what? gambling. that's like 2k a month he spent on gambling. she started telling my brother and i why she's always so b!tchy about us getting straight A's and not gaming, saying that if our dad keeps gambling, we won't really have enough to afford the costly tuitions and dorming and stuff. you guys know how i always complain about my mom and call her a bizatch sometimes? yaa, you guys know what i'm talking about, well, i don't think that anymore. she told me that she was hoping i can get a scholarship so that that the money lost won't hurt her as much (though i doubt it). after the whole story, i started crying my eyes out. i locked myself in the bathroom to let everything leak out. every feeling and every existing NaH2O (salt + water? i don't know) just spewed out of my eyes. my brother remained emotionless like the monotonic person he is. so this is what i'm gonna' say to my dear friends: if i don't hang out with you guys much, i'm sorry. sometimes i wonder why my dad is like this. why he lies to me. every time i ask him,"dad, did you go gambling again?" he would deny it. yet, when i open the trunk of his car, i see santa anita race track junk. no more iRO for me, i need to save the money for my mom and brother. i have to set a good example right? i love my mom and brother, and i don't know if my dad is trustworthy anymore, or if i love him. i try to find excuses for why he's always yelling at me, why he's always picking me up late, and why he's always putting me down, but i think i've eaten enough of his criticism to handle any more. i love you guys, so don't get mad if i don't kick it with you guys as much (as if i do now).

my greatest friends


i love you guys , and no, i'm not gay or lesbian ¬.¬i